Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Happy 21st Birthday, sweet CJ....

Also visit my Photography by DonnaKay blogspot @ ... a little more about my life as I grow my photography business...

Where in the world have 21 years gone?  It is just a little past midnight, and my daughter is celebrating her 21st birthday today.  My heart celebrates with her, but there is also a bit of an ache.  The tears that are welled up in my eyes sting, and I am a bit confused as to why I have such a need to cry.  This is such a happy day - my baby is now an adult.  But the Mom in me may never really see any of my children as adults...and my baby girl will definitely always be my baby girl.  My mind is full of the memories of the last 21 years with this child... all the way back to 21 years ago when I couldn't sleep the night before she was born.  I knew the doctor was planning to break my water with the hope that labor would start, and the excitement that I was going to meet the little miracle growing inside of me was more than I could stand.  "Sleep can wait until later," I can remember thinking!  Now here I am 21 years later, and I would rather spend time with that girl than sleep any day!  There are no words to describe to someone what it feels like to experience love as a mother.  But for me, as much as I love my sons, there are still no words to describe the special and incredible love for this daughter.  From the first moment all I wanted to do was protect her and keep her safe from any of the hurts I had ever experienced.  And until the day I die, I have no doubt that I would lay my life down for hers.  

Sweet daughter, your life has brought me tears of sadness and joy... you have brought me laughter and you have driven me to scream at times...  I look at you and see myself in so much of you, and that makes me proud and afraid at the same time.  You are so smart and driven - and I pray that you are always honest and true.  I would not change one thing in my life - not trade the very worst day - if that meant it changed the opportunity to be your Mom.  

Happy Birthday, sweet C.J.  May your heart always be full of my love for you!

"i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

"i fear no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

"here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

"i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)"

- e. e. cummings ~