Monday, June 27, 2011's not a funny thing

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When I'm starting on a new blog I always re-read what was written the last time.  I couldn't help but to laugh when I realized that here it is another Monday as I write another blog... seems a lot longer than I had planned to go.  Thanks for sticking around!  Blogging is kind of a funny thing.  For me this blog page is kind of a forum to just voice what's in my head - rumbling around and needing to come out.   And you get the luxury of reading it - or choosing not to (which, of course, I hope you do!  We may feel the same way about some things - who knows!)

What is on my mind today is: trust.  Maybe I should write that in all capital letters: TRUST.  It is a very big word... and I think often people forget how big and important that little word really is.  
Now I sure will not try to pretend that I am perfect and haven't ever done anything to break someone's trust -- sadly, I am very human and have done many wrong things in my life.  But I like to think I have also learned a LOT along the way.  I am very conscientious to choose the right words - to be as honest as I can be.  And many of my lessons have come because of consequences I've had to accept.  I've tried to teach my kids as they were growing up (and even now as they have all entered adulthood) that honesty is the only way to go... that anything else will catch up with you sooner or later.  And that is when trust becomes the issue.  

I believe we all want to trust the people in our lives... I know I certainly want to trust that when someone says something that they mean it - that I can count on the people in my life to be honest and true...trustworthy.  But it's just not always that sad and disappointing as that can be.  Sometimes I think it's just selfishness -- someone wanting what they want and not caring what they have to say or do to get it.  There are times I think it could be competitiveness.  While it can be good sometimes to compete, often it can destroy.  When it gets to lying, cheating, jealousy or gossip among other things in competitiveness, then it has become something really bad -- and relationships can be destroyed.  And trust can also be destroyed.  Often I don't think many people realize just how important it is to have trust.... to be trustworthy.  
Trust is a gift.  Often relationships start with trust in place -- kind of at that entry level.  And as the relationship goes along it either increases or decreases according to what goes on.  Someone is honest and true - they prove to be truthworthy and it increases.  But if they are secretive, dishonest (even those lies of omission) they quickly lose truthworthiness and there is a definite decrease - often to a point of losing trust altogether.  What I find some people don't stop and think about is that when you lose someone's trust, there is nothing to say that you will ever get it back.  Trust is not deserved - it is earned.  And just one thing can actually cause you to lose someone's trust forever.  That's a very sad place to be.  

I would implore you to think about your words before you speak them... are they true, are they fair, what is their intention, are they necessary?  If you know something is not true, then just don't say it.  And if you do something to break someone's trust, apologize quickly.  Don't try to save face by becoming arrogant about the incident -- take it like a grown-up and admit your wrong.  It's not about groveling, it's about showing that you know having someone's trust is a very important thing in this life.  It is very sad to see some people get to a place in their lives that they finally realize having people trust them is so important -- but they've done so much to prove their un-trustworthiness that no one can trust them any some ways, it is just too late.  And they lose someone who means so much to them.  

This thing about's a big thing.  TRUST is a big word.  Take care of it, cherish it... don't ever ignore it or take it lightly.  It may be a one-chance kind of thing.