Monday, May 16, 2011

What has happened to all the real friends?

Do you ever wonder whatever happened to lifetime friendships?  I remember when I was younger thinking that my best friends would always be my best friends...and not only that we would be friends, but that we would be active parts of one another daily lives in some way.  Some people have those friends whom they have known forever - have been through the best and the worst together - and are always helping each other through those times.  Now don't misunderstand me and think I don't have some friends who have been a part of my life in some way for a very long time... but truth is, there have always been very long lapses of time that have been allowed to pass without us making the time to be part of each others lives.  And that kind of makes me sad!  But beyond that, I'm talking more about now.

I know when I was younger my Mom would tell me (as I think all Mom's tell their kids) that when I grew up I would see that true friends were few and far between - and if you had true friends that you could count on one hand then you were very blessed.  But somehow I thought "no, not friends and I are so close nothing will keep us from talking every day!"  Well, Mom's are pretty smart.  Life has a way of getting busy and often changing things or people.  I look around me now and there are actually times that I really feel very alone.  I have lots of friends - and I know that they would be there for me in a blink if I needed them.  In fact, I have seen that in just the past year.  But I'm talking about that best friend that you talk to practically every day... that you share the insignificant or silly things in your life with on a regular basis.  The kind of friend that just comes over to hang out and have coffee (or a glass of wine) - and the friendship is so comfortable that they just walk right in the back door.  For some reason I find myself in a period of life where I don't have that person in my life... and I must say I miss it.  One thing I have learned as I've grown up, older and hopefully a bit wiser is that everything has a season.  Some things in our lives are meant to be lifelong...relationships in marriage, family, children - those are not for a season, but a lifelong commitment.  But friendships are often for a season.  They may be there to teach us something - or for us to teach someone else something.  We just might not always get the answer.  From every friendship I've ever had I have learned, though.  Those lessons have been so valuable in making me a better person; teaching me compassion, forgiveness and understanding; sometimes teaching me the value of boundaries.  Unfortunately there have also been those friendships that I've come away from learning that I need to not trust quite so easily... and I've learned to be a stronger person from it.  I have learned to appreciate all of the seasons, and I look forward the the next one when I have a best friend to laugh about the silly things with, that calls to share their day with me, or stops by for coffee and to sit on the back porch and talk for a few hours; someone that I can confide in when I need to vent (not to support me if I'm wrong, but to help me get perspective and see things from maybe another angle.)  I am thankful for all of the friends who are in my life, and I am especially thankful for those who have passed through my life.  They have made a difference to me and in me...they have helped me become wiser and more caring. 

For now I am resting in this season of quietness.  My kids have needed my time a lot lately (who knew they could need you so much when they got into their 20's?) and much of my energy has been put into getting my photography business started.  I've learned to appreciate the quieter times in my life and not to be afraid of them.  That's usually when God is really working on something... and I have faith that whatever He has planned for me is going to be great!

Also visit my Photography by DonnaKay blogspot... a little more about my life as I grow my photography business...